I don't know what's been going on with me lately. For some reason the past few weeks I have not been feeling like myself. I don't know. Just like I have been going through the motions with everything. Every day is the same day. I come home from work, spend some quality time with Braden after dinner (which is the best part of my day), and then race around to get things done around here, just to do it all again the next day. Chris has been doing a ton of projects around the house, and things down at the fire hall that he had been neglecting, since he cut down on being there when Brady was born.
Chris went away for the weekend to Dayton, OH for a fire training class. While he was gone, Brady and I kept busy, but underneath it all, I just felt down. Saturday morning all I wanted to do was sleep. I couldn't shake the feeling of being exhausted.
I was so proud of myself the beginning of this year, by the first week of March I had lost 19 pounds. Now I have stopped watching what I was eating, I'm somewhat of an emotional eater, so, being down made my eating get wacky again.
Last month I realized that I hadn't paid some of our bills, because I didn't "feel like it". I was telling my friend Melissa, and she asked why, and I told her it was because I ran out of stamps. She made sure I got to the post office to buy some. I just feel like I can't get organized, I can't keep on top of things. I can't keep it together. I feel like I'm going through the motions of life. It's hard for me to understand this because I usually keep so positive. Either that or I try to use my sense of humor to cheer me up. Lately I've been avoiding people, on the phone, hanging out, and online. Sorry everyone.
Somehow I have to get out of this slump and turn it into something more positive. I don't know. This week is bad for it. Yesterday was my mom's birthday... it will be 14 years this year since she's been gone. Between that and mother's day... well.... I just need to turn this thing around.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
